She could see their smiles, clear as day. The ones she loved the ones who held her together when she fell apart. They looked so happy, so calm, and so very unaware to their terrible fates. Her younger brother, who she had cared for and loved since the day he was born, her parents, who were like no other and who loved her with every breath in their bodies. They were a family. Then it was all taken from her in a matter of seconds. After the car accident Bella was never the same....
Thud, thud, thud. The rain almost pushed her deeper into sadness. Sitting in the alley, it would have been scary to someone else, they would’ve thought of all the awful people that could come up to them, but not to Bella, not anymore, she didn’t care if she died, everything was gone now. The last two years had been nothing but a blur of lonliness, she had been numb, compared to what she felt now. The depression was so intense, so completely death-defying that it almost burned a whole through her soul. Her whole family being taken away was one thing that she just barely got through, but now that God had taken her friend as well, it was pure torture. Could one God hate someone so much, that they would remove everything that meant something to them, and leave them hopeless and alone and beyond depression?
“Bella you’ve got to stop”. She could see the fear in their eyes. The person who had stuck by her through her horrible ordeal. The only people she had left. Sienna had been with Bella through everything. She was the only person in the world she could talk to. Sienna was her best and only friend. The only person who could save her from herself. “You’ve been through so much, we know, but this is not the way to handle this.” Sobbed Sienna, picking up the glass bottles that had caused her so much trouble. Sienna was like a mother to Bella always watching out for her and taking care of her but all of a sudden Bella started having mood swings and started developing terrible habits that sent her into a serious depression. There was nothing Sienna could do....
***
Sienna had noticed the scars on Bella’s arms... “How could you do this to yourself? To me?” she tried to say as the tears started to pour out of her eyes. Bella said nothing.
“You’ve got to stop. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
It was too much for Sienna, she ran out the door and Bella just sat there. If only Bella had called out to her or insisted that she stayed. Sienna would never have been in such a state. The doctors said nothing could have prevented her Aneurysm in her brain to burst, but Bella will blame herself for the rest of her life. She now carries so much guilt and regret. Could she ever of done anything to save her family from the accident and now her best friend. Sienna died that night...
The walls were like prison gates, trapping Bella in her own personal nightmare. Where ever she looked, she could only see Sienna. All the places they had been before. It was ripping her apart, really truly tearing her up from inside. No one approached to give comfort, they only stared, watching her every move, waiting for a brake down. The only one who came near was Daniel. Daniel was Sienna’s boyfriend before she died. He kept trying to take her place, pretending that it never happened but you could see in his eyes that he was still deeply hurting for the loss of his girlfriend. Bella woulf never be able to take the place of Sienna. He was, however, the only one who had the slightest idea what Bella was going through and how much strength she needed to find to get through these dark times.
He steered Bella into a corner, away from all the gazes, all the criticizing eyes. Daniel looked at her with concern and sympathy.
“Are you okay? You look like hell.” He whispered.
“What do you think Daniel?” Bella sounded almost like she was pleading. “Of course I’m not okay. I’m scared and alone. I feel like i am living a nightmare everyday.”
“Woah, Calm down”
“ How the hell can I be calm Daniel! I just lost my best friend, the only person I had left!”
“You’ve got me” he whispered
“No I don’t! Stop pretending like you can take Sienna’s place. You cant. You never will so leave me alone.”
Bella stormed off.
***
School past in a blur, nothing mattered anymore. Everyday Bella would get worse and worse. There was nothing that could save her anymore. Finally it was too much...
Bella Winter
1994 - 2010
